The Unthinkable

Every so often, my program takes all the students on various day and overnight trips. To Ravenna, to Torino, and this April, we are off for 5 days in Sicily. Yesterday we went to Parma and it was quite the experience.

Coming off 3 1/2 hours of sleep, I was not bursting with energy as I met up with folks at the train station. I set my alarm way earlier than I had to get up so I could a) hit the snooze button with ease and b) pack a few snacks.

I got two ziplock bags. One for my yogurt and granola and the other for Ritz crackers and fruit. Had the other essentials: asthma medicine, camera, water bottle, tissue, and I was ready to go.

Now, heading onto the train I knew Parma was going to be special. After all, this is where Parmesan cheese comes from as well as arguably the best prosciutto in all of Italy. I actually went to Parma with ma last semester but we only sampled the best they had to offer.

We met our tour guide and began walking the streets. Less than 5 minutes into the tour she was pointing out famous salumerias, or deli's if you will. People have their cameras out and were snapping away at massive blocks of cheese and ham dangling from ceilings. I, too, was one of those people.

We saw your standard cathedrals and historic buildings (all dating back to around the time the dinosaurs were kicking the bucket) but the highlight of the sites was the Farnese Theater. (For the record, you should look this theater up right now) It was absolutely amazing. All made of wood. Beautifully carved. Way back in the day there was a performance that was 7 hours and had over 30 sets. They only did 9 shows. Seriously, look it up.

After the theater visit, we made our way to the restaurant. The moment we had all been waiting for. As I took my seat next to the director, Marcello, and his wife, I knew I was in for it. The aperitivo that arrived was nothing short of delicious. There was doughy, fried bread that was very soft and warm. We then had salami, montadella, and 3 kinds of prosciutto. It was arraigned in a very appetizing and precise way.

I was getting my grub on when I looked across from me and saw a girl in my program who wasn't eating. She informed me she was a Vegetarian. Normally, I would inquire and try to convince folks that they should give that up but not this time. I realized the less others ate, the more for me. I just said "oh" and continued eating.

Because of her special vegetarian characteristic, she was brought a plate full of different types of cheeses. As the waitress placed it in front of her, across from me, I gawked. I thought to myself "I'm definetly going to eat that". She offered me some after she couldn't eat it all and although I could have gone to town on it, I didn't. Not out of respect for her or fear of being gluttonous but rather because I wanted to save room for the other courses. At one point while eating I said I didn't want to eat anymore because it was too good. I know some of you might think this makes no sense but it does. You know when someone has "such a crazy idea it might work", well this is like that. It was so good I didn't want to eat anymore. It was that insane.

Everyone was full at this point. But there was all this meat and cheese leftover. I knew nobody wanted anymore and I knew the waiters were going to just throw this wonderful food away.

So I did it.

I unzipped my backpack. Took out a ziplock bag and began filling it. I would place a little meat and cheese on my plate and then casually take it and put it in the bag under the table. The girls around me took notice but I didn't care. They at first were critical but came around after a second. I even turned to Marcello and told him what I was doing. He replied very simply and very seriously: "You're smart".

As my ziplock was gaining in volume, the waiters were lurking; ready to remove these plates and bring new ones. As I wished I was Inspector Gadget and had those "Go-go Gadget arms", I began frantically throwing meat and cheese into my bag before the waiter came. Once he arrived I gave him the nod and he took away the plate.

I did it. I had brought the lifestyle of Hometown Buffet and Red Lobster to Parma,Italy. Am I proud? No. But I'm not ashamed either.

Me and some Italian folks went out to this bar to watch a soccer match last night and I was asked it I wanted any bar food. "No thanks" I said

And right there I busted out my ziplock bag full of goodies.

"I'm good"