The Observer- First Weekend

Given my current physical condition, my actions are rather limited. That is to say I much prefer to sit on the couch or lie on the bed then go from house to house or party to party. (Also contributing might be the outrageous wind chill around these parts)

As this was the first weekend back at school, I chose to "go out" the first night and see how things went. Now, we have the first weekend back at school that prides itself on partying and we have the juniors returning from abroad who would not pass up the chance to make a fool of themselves on American soil (assuming they already did so in Spain, Denmark, or Argentina)

I was recieving words of caution from my mother all week. Walk slowly, look out for the ice, pay attention. But there was an extra sense of danger when you combine the winter elements with a surgically repaired knee with drunk, overzealous, stupid college kids.

I got a typically late start on the evening. (got out the shower at 11:12) and headed to my friends house who was having a belated birthday party. Now, I count on this friend (a girl by the way) to introduce me to the cool kids. I hang with her while she is hanging with the cool kids and then I hang with the cool kids. It was a recipe for success during the first semester. As I begin my sloth walk to her house I run into some old chums along the way.

Now most of the time these interactions are terrible. People give the fake I'm sorry and everyone is at a loss for words. However, this time my man Lightning (seriously that is his name. He is 6'7" real pale with blonde hair. Even looks like a bolt of lightning) was upset that happened and gave me a hug. That was a nice one.

Once I entered this party it was pure chaos. People standing everywhere and sitting everywhere. I decided to leave the crutches by the door and just head upstairs. I ended up chilln with my friend for a bit but the cool kids didn't show up till later. I decided to count my losses and head home. As I descended the stairs I realized I forgot my coat (pea-coat, brass buttons. Cooler than anything you got. Trust me) so as I asked someone to get it for me, a group of bro's were coming down the stairs.

The first one had a beer in his hand and about halfway down he took a tumble. And a good one. I started to laugh then looked to see if he was alright then laughed again. But, miraculously, the cup of beer was still there. One minute later, no lie, another bro did the same thing and he fell with a bang.

He spilled some of the beer on his hand but much to my surprise, he began licking it off his hand. This guy was acting like he just came out the desert of Egypt after the Pharaoh let his people go and was just given water. And you have to assume it was the cheap beer too. I just shook my head as he passed me. It was so funny and absurd that it was beyond laughing.

I finally made my way out of the party and headed home. As I walked up my stairs I noticed the house right next door was having a party. They have a small house but always manage to have a lot of folks over. As people were walking down the street someone opened their door and the music became audible. The crowd of say, 15 folks walking in the opposite direction heard the music and pulled a U Turn.

It was like bees flocking to honey. Anywhere college people hear loud music and see a crowd, they will go. Next thing I knew there were maybe 100 people in the street just outside my house and the party house. I was watching a sweet documentary on Elephants on Animal Planet at this point. I decided to take one last peek at the crowd and opened the front door.

By now, there were maybe 150 people (power of cell phones ladies and gentlemen. "What you doing?" "There might be a party at this house, come over") and two campus police cars.Its amazing how college parties work. If there is music and alcohol it doesn't matter if its a vampire hideout or a former crack house, kids will show up.

My door was open and I was looking outside. At this point a group of folks saw me and possibly thought I was having a party and this was me extending the invite.

I closed that door faster than Clint Eastwood draws his pistols.

Maybe next time.

But most likely not.