Is That Necessary?

There really is nothing like Italian fashion. From Dolce & Gabanna to Armani to gold shoes and mohawks, they got it covered. From pre-teens to single folks to (my personal favorite) old folks, Italians got it all.

To start with the young guns, one only has to stay in the piazza for a short time or any popular street. They will always be roaming in hoards and extremely loud. There will be at least 3 of them, males and/or females, wearing white pants. Some will have a gel'd mohawk or just bangs, Others will be wearing shirts that are written in English but don't make any sense. For example: "Lettuce is my religion" or "New York's Ugliest"

The singles always provide good laughs. The guys will be wearing the super tight shirts and jeans that are way over the top. (I'm all about the skinny jeans look but there is a fine line between jeans and nut-huggers) They could be fat and outta shape but somehow, this outfit does wonders. You can also smell these cats from a mile away. I think its a combination of three things: very strong body wash, followed by a spray deodorant and finally massive amounts of cologne. On the other hand, the single females don't stand out too me that much. You can never tell who has a boyfriend, or who is even open to the idea of conversing. There are a lot less welcoming than I had anticipated. No lie, I have gotten more attention from guys than girls. That's not to say I haven't got attention from girls, but, um, I'm just saying...



My last and most favorite groups is the seniors. Now, this isn't meant to be too critical as I understand I will one day be a senior myself but I got to draw the line somewhere. Firstly, with the men. I will say my problems are very minimal, if at all. They always have a nice tie and sweater on usually accompanied by a jacket and scarf. I will say that they could do with a little bit more color. They are less adventurous in comparison to their young male counterparts. I'm not saying I want to see pink sweaters and purple ties but I will say cut back on the Tim Burton black and gray, ya digg.


And now, the old women. I got nothing but love for old women. I don't even think its even PC to clown on old women at this point. However, I cannot pass on this one. I can confidently say that at least 93% of Italian old women wear the same brown mink coat and that s*it needs to stop. Whether its sunny and 60 degrees outside or rainy and 30, these women will roc this coat. (Now this is a common thing amongst all Italians. They always think it is freezing outside. It is never cold or a little wet, always freezing. You can go outside and see folks with scarves over their mouthes and Soviet Union Soldier hats. I have been chastised extensively for wearing shorts on my way back from the gym) Moreover, the jacket makes the women look like they are getting attacked by a 400lb Grizzly Bear. I went to the grocery store today in jeans and a sweatshirt and saw 3 women with the same brown coat. Standard issue. I don't even know where they get them. I have yet to see them for sale in a store. Its like there is some Italian law that if you are a woman over 60 you need to have this coat. Its a right of passage-like a Bar Mitzvah.


Now don't get me wrong, I love the Italian fashion. There is nothing wrong with looking nice and taking pride in the way you present yourself. I must also give a huge amount of praise to the Italian women who wear stiletto's while walking on cobble stones while smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone. If you want to be impressed look no further than these women.

Don't believe what I say? Come to Italy, grab a caffe and people watch in the piazza.

Then come talk to me