Frightening yet Intriguing

Although I have touched on this subject before, it always finds a way to work itself back into the mix. I'm talking about the gym. Nothing completely crazy ever happens but its all the little things that make the gym experience unique.

I have heard some stories from the girls locker room which sound ridiculous. I won't go into details but let's just say everything guys think goes on in women's locker rooms actually does over here.

But back to the matter at hand. As I have said before, my gym is the low budget one. We are talking a handful of machines in a tiny space. So tiny that you have to turn sideways to walk when its rush hour. But its cool, it gets the job done.

Now, if you go to the gym you have your regulars. You have those who are there just to tell their friends later that day that "Yeah, and I went to the gym today". You got your folks that will wear as little clothing as possible to show off as much of the body as possible. The folks who are new to the gym and take very long sips from their water bottle just to stall and study the machine (how hard is the stationary bike though, really). And then you got the folks who are too muscular and actually make you feel weird when you look at them.

Now I got one of those in my gym. The catch is, its a woman. Before you judge, I have no problem with women working out or being muscular. No sir. Got the hair tied back, short shorts on, or the black leggings, and the asics or nikes. You might have left the earring on. Sounds good to me. The thing with this woman is that she is a grunter.

I strongly dislike the folks who must grunt and make noises while working out. If you are doing that, you are doing too much weight or running too fast. It makes me feel weird when I hear these people that sound like they are on their death bed. I don't know whether I should offer them my inhaler (I would never) or run and get help.

The thing is, I can't help but look at them. Maybe because its so distracting, or maybe because I want to witness something go down. Either way, I periodically stare. And that is what recently got me in trouble. While I was in the gym this week, there was one woman who looked like she could give Hulk Hogan a run for his money.

No lie, she sounded like Sea Lion in mating season. She was grunting and coughing, and all that and I would look over that way every now and then just to see if I could be the first person on the scene if something happened. After I had looked 3 times, she caught me. Our eyes met and my initial reaction was to turn away. And I did. But I stupidly turned back immediately. (Come on everyone does that) And she was still staring at me.

I didn't back down but after a second or two she did one of the weirdest things I've seen in about 5 to 10: she flexed her muscles. I'm still not sure if this was to prove her dominance, challenge me, or express her interest in me. Either way it was odd. I turned to the clock on the wall real quick and reacted in a "Oh no! I'm late" kind of way and got the hell outta there.

As I put on my Spidey backpack she gave me a "ciao" and I responded with a ciao but didn't look her in the eyes. I'm going to try and avoid her but part of me wants to see her again cuz the whole situation is so ridiculous. I'm all about the stories and situations just so I can look back and be like "Damn".

So here's to hoping I don't run into Xena: Warrior Princess again

And here's to hoping I do