Dr. Phil and Co.

As I sat at home this afternoon flipping through channels, I couldn't help but notice a trend on television: most shows were aimed toward the nosy. I do not have a lot of channels (10 to be exact) and as a result, I do not watch a lot of TV. This afternoon I was particularly bored and was hoping something could entertain me. Although I had no such luck, I was hit with a realization.

Americans love seeing other people's information put on display. I am not talking about newspapers or even some magazines but rather the Judge shows and Dr. Phil.

On three of my ten channels at 12:30 this afternoon were judge shows. It was the same premise on each show: two people who know each other, one claims the other owes them money because of some moronic act, and wa-la, they are on TV. One thing really pops into my mind when watching these shows, who really watches them and why?

Part of me can understand the fixation with celebrity shows such as Access Hollywood or Extra. We are curious to see if our favorite celebrities have similar hobbies or go to certain places. We want to see their lavish lifestyle and for a split moment, we imagine our lives being the same... "Oh, what if.." But these judge shows are just ordinary, weird people. . We lie back on the couch and see the woman who reminds us of a co-worker or peer. We can see them argue with their former best friend over who was the rightful owner of the halter top with the words 'Baby's Mama' on it. We can make fun of the guy who attempted to 'dress up' for court by wearing a mechanics short-sleeve button down shirt with the name Hank on it (Always unclear whether that is his actual name. Shoot, still unclear if he is the actual owner of that shirt). The show centers around the two parties bickering with the judge periodically commenting to display his authority. It's just bad.

Fortunately, one has to wait only a few hours until America's favorite doctor airs. Good ol' Dr. Phil. First things first, what self-respecting doctor goes by his first name only? Is he trying to be a Madonna or Cher with a twist? Come on, man. Now, when I began to watch this show I wondered what kind of people want their personal business on TV? I understand some aren't as shy and reserved as others, but this is a little extreme. Also, what happens after the show? I cannot help but assume that Dr. Phil does not see all of his patients again unless he has a time-turner(see Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban for details) I mean are we to assume that Dr. Phil cures these people in a one hour sit down sessions? I don't care if you broke your wrist or if you have a fetish for pigeon-toed French women with lazy eyes. EVERYONE needs a follow up appointment. This show does not add up to me on numerous levels. I don't understand why people want to watch this show either. Where is the entertainment is watching strangers discuss and go over their depression and life problems with a balder man worse than George Costanza who owns a thicker mustache than Magnum PI. Hell, you give me a fat paycheck and I'll buy some stools from IKEA and set up shop in my living room, then you tell me your problems and I will just throw some words at you and before anyone realizes I have no idea what I'm doing, I'll cut to commercial break.

I write about these shows because I feel that it is a waste of time. I have some suggestions next time you find yourself watching one of the aforementioned shows. Call an old friend, learn a new recipe, or even do some community service. (OK, scratch that last one. We both know that isn't going to happen. We say we'll do it, never get around to it. You know the routine)

Come on everyone, we are better than this.

Wait a minute, on second thought...