It's Official

Those god damn parking meters. I hate those things. They provide nothing good to anyone. Hating the parking meters makes me hate the meter maids. And I won't even begin to get started on that tiny little Fisher Price car they drive. However, my hatred and desire to not let 'Them' win (by giving me a parking ticket), led me to a realization. A very, very serious realization.

We've all got a ticket before. And we all remember that first moment we turned the corner and saw that little piece of paper on our windshield. Sometimes we put in no change at all and take the gamble. "They probably won't come by anyway." Or we put in the bear minimum of change offered; usually a nickel. That way we can tell others, after we receive the ticket, that we put change in the meter and "still got a ticket!". The worst is when you put as much money in the meter as it would allow and you still get a ticket. You begin to blame the meter and the city. "Why the f*ck do they only allow 2 hr? What kind of city is this?" Well, if they allowed three or four, you would be pitching a tent inside Trader Joe's and nobody else would be able to use your spot.

But how great is it when you go to put money in the meter and there is already time on there? (Gotta be one of the top 17 feelings out there) The person before you left early and now you are just overcome with joy. It can be 27 minutes or even 4. Either way, we are excited. We feel like we have been alloted time that otherwise wouldn't have existed. Sadly, some people don't really understand that this does not give you more time in the day but rather allows you to pay less.

As I said before, I was determined not to get a ticket. i parked my car at 2:10 for a 2:15 appointment. I was told that my appointment should be about 45 minutes at the doctor's office but I put in as much money as allowed. I went for the full 2hrs. I was golden until 4:10 but I got out of the office early (the doc was real good). I got back to my car at 2:55. What the hell am I suppose to do now? Well, the logical answer would be to just leave. But then the next person to pull in would get to park off my money! I didn't want to give them that silly grin that would overtake their face once they saw how much time the previous patient (ME) had given them. So I decided to stay.

Stay and do what you might ask. Well, absolutely nothing. I had no book nor radio. My car was recently broken into and they stole the radio and the $8.95 sunglasses I got from Rite Aid. So I sat there. Not wanting to 'waste' my money. Not wanting somebody to benefit from my money. Yep, sat in my car with the windows rolled down. Straight chillin. For 1hr and 15 minutes. Listened to my thoughts. Came up with different scenarios and would ask myself certain questions like "would my life be different if my name was Emanuel?" and "What ever happened to Richard Simmons?" Then the meter flashed red.

Once I started my engine to go home, it became official: I'm Jewish