A Night To Remember

Now that I am done with my school year, I have been able to relax and not have to worry about exams and papers. Living in Oakland, I am rather close to a number of big colleges: UC Berkeley, Stanford, and Santa Clara to name a few. Although I am only about an hour away from UC Davis, I had never been but always wanted to visit. Well, yesterday, my wish was granted.

The evening began with my friend saying he had ordered a pizza and wanted me to come over and kick back and watch the Pistons vs. Lebron, excuse me, the Cavaliers. I headed over to his lovely abode in Berkeley not expecting to go anywhere. Upon arrival, he informed me that we might be going to UC Davis afterward. Whatever, I just wanted to watch basketball and eat pizza. I'll figure it out later. Following the game, I was on the fence about driving an hour to go to a place I had never been. But oh, the power of persuasion. Especially from a fast talking, super persuasive chap from Harvard named William. Before we actually got on the road, however, we had to make to stops to pick up two friends of his. They were of the female species, so no complaints from this guy. By the time we got on the real road, it was 10:07. Initially, the other three were real excited. Music was bumping, the excessive amounts of perfume and cologne were meshing well (although I gave my window a slight roll down), and I was comfortably full from the pizza earlier consumed. 15 minutes into the car road, I was ready for bed. I knew the other three weren't nearly as unenthusiastic as me so I had to play along. I would drop the occasional "Oh this is about to be super fun!" or "Good thing none of us have actual lives or families yet and can afford to take off in the middle of the night in hopes of getting ridiculously wasted and not being able to pronounce our own last name or remembering whether you currently own a frog named Stuart or not."

We arrived at our destination around 11:15 and as soon as I stepped out of the car I felt like Ron Burgundy after he jumped into the bear pit in Anchorman: "I immediately regret this decision." I could tell it was going to be a lackluster night and my heart wasn't in it from the get-go. But I couldn't be downer. I decided I wasn't going to participate in any extracurricular activities for the night but I kept insisting that 'I was still down to have SO much fun!' We were told that there 'wasn't much going on' that night. (Disclaimer: the 'not much going on tonight' is the oh-so-classic phrase for a college student to drop while hosting friends from other schools. They establish that the night could be a bust from the get so if it does turn out bad, they get credit for warning everyone and receive little to no criticism. As soon as you start to criticize him or the school, someone will jump in: "Hey bro, lighten up, he did warn us". Now, if the night turns out well, then he still gets credit for showing everyone a good time and since people weren't expecting much, its a surprise. Its a win-win for the host.) Some people took some shots of gin (i associate with classy individuals only) and we were on our way.

The campus is real big and spread out so we took a taxi to the party. I was real shocked by this because my school is so small and everyone walks everywhere. I was told that most of the time guys just bike to parties. Three things came to mind after hearing this: 1. Are you f*cking kidding me? 2. Can you get a D.U.I. on a bike? 3. What if you want to take a girl home at the end of the night? Do you have a 1950's style basket in the front she can ride in? Do you have her walk while you ride the bike slowly and awkwardly next to her trying not to gain too much speed while trying not to look like a jackass? But I digress. As soon as I stepped into the party I was hit by a heat wall comparable to that of Las Vegas after one steps onto the strip from a air conditioned hotel lobby. It was miserable. This night was turning into a disaster quicker than Rosie O'Donnell on The View. I figured I would set up camp near the refrigerator so I could occasionally open the freezer to cool myself off. After I opened it for a second time, I noticed something that could potentially save the night:Otterpops.

Shortly after I noticed this treasure, a police officer showed and began to break up the party. After he asked to see who lived at the apartment, I knew this would be my chance. Once the owner of the apartment came to speak to him, I would strike. As soon as they started talking, I went for it. I opened the freezer and began to have second thoughts but like Odysseus and his men at the island of the Sirens, I couldn't stop, I had to keep going. I reached for 'em and took 'em! VICTORY! My comrades and I left the party and this guy was a happy camper. I distributed the O-Pops (that's what we call them in the 'hood) to my friends and while doing so, I noticed that not only did I get the Pops, I also snagged an orange creme bar. Chalk that up as a W.

We eventually made our way back to my friends spot and we all went to bed. I was too excited to hit the hay. I was coming off one of the biggest heists UC Davis had ever seen. So as my peers dozed off, I grabbed the remote and celebrated in the only way I could. With style.I took my half melted orange creme bar and watched The Mummy on TNT.