I Blame Myself Pt. 2

Note: If you have not read 'I Blame Myself Pt. I', I suggest you do so now. Otherwise, this entry will not be as good for you

Into Wal-Mart I walked. I was greeted with a "Hello, welcome to Wal-Mart" from a woman who looked well into her 70's. Unfortunately, the first thing to pop into my mind was: 'Damn, you are being exploited as we speak' Sad but true. I quickly responded with a 'Hi'.

My mom had told me that she was in the cereal isle right before I came into the store. Last time I checked, my mom told me she was coming to just get one item. That one item later turned out to be a scale but in the process of getting it, she managed to nearly fill her cart with "things for me". You ever been with your mom or dad and they tell you they are only going to get a few things but end up getting 1/4 of the store? Then, on top of all that, they say most of the items "are for you anyway". They spin it around on you and how much you eat. But half of the stuff in the cart is special adult diet food. You know, the reduced fat cookies, or the Progresso soup with half the calories.

As I entered the cereal isle, I saw my mom conversing with an Asian woman with a box of 'Kashi' cereal in her hand. I had no desire to enter this conversation nor did I want to be like Lurch and stand there so I just kept walking. I called my mom on her phone and said I was currently in Wal-Mart and going to look for a messenger bag.

Wal-Mart does not necessarily scream out 'orderly' or 'in control' so I decided to just start at one end of the store and just make my way across. I started in the Electronics department and as I made my way into the Women's section, I noticed some backpacks. OK, most of these backpacks had Dora The Explorer or SpongeBob on them, but I thought some other types of carrying bags would be near by. As I am looking, I notice a contingent of women around me and as I turn to look at them, I see that I am in the heart of panties land.

As I clearly had no daughter, mother, or sister with me, I came off a little suspect to these women. I didn't want to quickly leave for fear of looking real weird and as if I had just been caught or something, so I decided to walk around acting like I was shopping. I didn't know how to respond to all the women and girls looking at me so I just smiled. After getting two disdainful looks from two women, I got out of there after realizing that a 20 year old male who was perusing in the bra section, and smiling at every woman, was not a good idea.

At this point, I was regretting three things: 1) that I even entered Wal-Mart, 2) that I was in the women's underwear section and 3) that I didn't take any Claritin or Benadryl before I left the house.

Walking down the center isle that runs parallel to the cash registers I was constantly turning my head from left to right looking for some sign of a messenger bag. Of course the categories they have on the hanging signs rarely provide any clarification to the costumer. I was looking for a bar of soap one time and went down the "Hygiene" isle. I came across more Vagisil and Yeast Infection Remedies that could supply half the women in Reno, NV. Why can't they just have a sign that reads: "Things to wash your ass"? That sure would do the trick for me.

I didn't see any isle that stuck out to me but I backtracked to the "Luggage" isle thinking that I would have some luck there.

I'm looking through all the different bags for luggage when I hear an "excuse me" behind me. I turn around and see a woman who looks in her 40's standing there with her little kid.
"Do you know where I can find Transformers figures?" she asks.
"What?" I respond.
"Do you work here?"
"NO."
Here I was looking in the luggage section and this woman comes up to me asking where the transformers are. First off, this woman should have been in the TOY section. Next, why in the hell did she think I worked there? Maybe she got confused with what I was wearing and how it is similar to the Wal-Mart employees. I had PLAID SHORTS and a GREY T-SHIRT . Oh wait, the standard Wal-Mart attire is slacks and their trademark BLUE VEST.

I watched this woman walk away and while doing so I called my mom and told her I would be waiting for her in the car.